The Xavier Institute Mod Journal (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
astonishing_xmods) wrote2014-08-24 06:54 pm
astonishing_xmods) wrote2014-08-24 06:54 pm
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APPLICATION
BEFORE YOU APP please make certain you have read over the HISTORY, RULES, and FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS to assure you have a complete understanding of the game, its setting, and what is expected of you as a player. Thank you.
PLAYER INFORMATION
CHARACTER INFORMATION
SAMPLES
APPLICATIONS ARE CURRENTLY OPEN
PLAYER INFORMATION
PLAYER: Your name, as in you the player
ARE YOU AT LEAST 16 YEARS OLD?: You must be at least 16 to join this game
IF UNDER 18 YEARS OLD, PLEASE STATE YOUR AGE: Self-explanatory
CONTACT: Plurk, aim, OOC journal, or just set up for private messaging, the mods need some way to contact you.
CHARACTERS PLAYED: The names and journals of any characters you already play in the game.
CHARACTER INFORMATION
NAME: Your character's name
CANON: What your character comes from
CANON REFERENCE: Any info links will be accepted here. If apping an OC, this doesn't really apply to you.
AGE: Your character's age in this AU. If it differs from their canon age, please make note of it here as well.
GENDER: Your character's gender in this AU. If it differs from their canon gender, please make note of it here as well
YEAR IN SCHOOL/FACULTY POSITION: This should match what is on your reserve.
APPEARANCE: This does not need to be a detailed section. A picture and/or short description is all that's really needed. However, if you're apping an OC, we'd like at least a little more thought put into this section. IF THERE ARE ANY MAJOR PHYSICAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE AU AND THE ORIGINAL, THEY SHOULD BE NOTED HERE.
PERSONALITY: We would like at least four paragraphs here. If you can do more, that's great, but anything less will be given an automatic revision. What we want here are the ins and outs of the character. Their motivations, personal strengths, and weaknesses. What makes them tick, so to speak. This is not a history section. If at all possible, please back up major personality points with canon examples. Site canon whenever possible. If there are some differences in the personality due to the AU nature of the game, please note them here, but remember that your character's personality cannot be too drastically different. The core character should remain the same.
POWERS/ABILITIES: Please give a detailed explanation of your character's mutant powers here. Literal strengths, weaknesses, and the upward limit of their ability. Spare nothing here, as we will be scrutinizing this section heavily. If you need to link wikipedia for scientific explanations and whatnot, you are free to do so. Remember, any multiple powers need to be related in some way to the core ability. The only exception to this rule are physical mutations. For example, Nightcrawler can teleport, but he's also a fuzzy blue devil man who can scale walls. These two are not related, but because his devil nature is a physical mutation, it would be allowed.
AU HISTORY: This is the meat of the AU. We want a detailed history of their character. Their early life, how they came to discover they were a mutant, and what lead them to the institute. If they've been here awhile, we'd like to know what they've done since coming to Xavier. If they're a returning character, we want to fill in the gap between when they were here last and now. Once again, spare no detail. There is no hard limit on how long this needs to be, but if we feel it is too barebones, there will be a revision, so please do what you can. HOWEVER it should be noted that there is such a thing as too much information as well. Please do not make your history overly long or bogged down in ultimately unimportant information. Be kind to the mods reviewing your app.
SAMPLES
NETWORK SAMPLE: You may link from an outside source, either our Test Drive or other places, but they MUST be set in the game. An acceptable linked sample for this prompt must be have at least seven comments from YOUR character in the linked thread.
This is basically to show off character voice in the form of a network post. It can be text, vocal, or video. We want at least some dialog, though in cases of less talkative characters, we are willing to accept character 'voice' in more subtle ways. Make it work!
LOG SAMPLE: You may link from an outside source, either our Test Drive or other places, but they MUST be set in the game. An acceptable linked sample for this prompt must be have at least seven comments from YOUR character in the linked thread.
This is an example of your ability to write the character's introspection. Their thoughts, feelings, and reactions to a given situation. Get inside their head. Remember to show, not tell. These are off network, what would normally go in the log community. You do not necessarily need to write this prose style, and can do a bracket style if you choose. But we still need to see a healthy amount of introspection.
PENDING
Thank you for your application. The mod team has looked it over and discussed it, and come to the conclusion that it needs some REVISIONS. A few points of concern are:
-While you provided a lot of detail in the personality section, it was not made explicitly clear what was canon and what was conjecture or products of the AU or of aging her up. Several major traits didn't line up with what we did see in canon or seemed like enough of a stretch to need better justification, in particular the claim that she tinkers as a hobby (when in canon she seems to do it chiefly to more closely emulate Kim), the idea that she's a hyper-intelligent tech genius (when in canon she seems clever for her age, but as far as tech we see a rather low-tech grappling hook and enough know-how to hit the off-switch on a machine she uses regularly), and the claim that she's "rarely socially awkward". This section needs a thorough rewrite that draws a clearer line between canon, headcanon, and products of the AU process or aging up. (Her page on the KP wiki seems to say she's 12, though, so unless there's a mistake there, it doesn't seem like she should be that dramatically different due to aging.)
-The powers themselves are perfectly reasonable, but we're going to need to tone down the equipment a great deal. It wouldn't be fair to the player base to admit a character who carries enough gear to effectively replicate several superpowers when everyone else is limited to one. With that in mind, we've given the okay to: the microcommunicator/scanners, the goggles, one gas mask, the solar chargers, and the first aid kit and lasso. The pet robot is also okay, if we can take out the part about running on gamma radiation (seems unnecessary, and would be a safety concern IC). If you need explanations as to why the other items weren't approved, feel free to contact us and ask.
-The structure of the history is alright and you provided a good level of detail, but some of those details don't line up with the Institute's setting. In particular, Emma's school is also a mutant-only school, so it wouldn't make sense for Joss to have been there before her mutation was discovered. Also, there doesn't seem to be a clear reason for the incident described in her history to make anyone suspect she was a mutant, since she'd already tested negative and still wasn't showing any powers.
-We weren't sure what age and how verbal you meant when you said that she "learned to speak after a few months", and wanted to check that her development was still within the normal human range (and not an extra mutation).
-Saying she's "an absolute prodigy with everything she [does]" doesn't seem canon-supported or balanced.
-The samples look good overall, and you have the sound of her voice down well, but we'd like to see a different third-person sample. The current one meets length requirements, but largely focuses on actions and doesn't really provide a sense for her thought processes, feelings, and inner world as a whole.
You have one week to respond to these requests.
Re: PENDING
1. I have added a test drive meme link to the log sample and changed the sample I already had to include more of Joss' thoughts
2. The absolute prodigy statement is ditched.
3. I had her learn to talk at "normal age"
4. I had her go to a boarding school that's not Emma. Fixed the history from there.
5. All unapproved tech has been deleted
6. Joss' personalty and skills have been toned down quite a bit. She has only 120 IQ instead of 160, she no longer knows martial arts, she is no longer able to update her tech, and some other skills have been striped. She's also not perfectly adapt in most social situations, but she's not a total nerd ether.
7. I have created a whole section dedicated to AU differences, and why I made them.
However, there is something I could not change.
Joss is still kind of good with tech, and here's how I justify it. I know from personal experience that if your parents have a business, then you're going to end up working in it, and when you work it you will end up learning about the product it sells.
Joss' dad is in the tech business, no one has disputed that, therefore she learned about tech.
At this point, I have done all I could. I really hope that Joss is approved. but if she isn't I understand. The one thing I know is that I can't send Joss to the institute without redeeming abilities. If she can't use tech, then she needs something else, or else she's just going to be squashed. So if she's not good enough now then...well...there's nothing else I can do.
Whatever your decision, I would love it if we could schedule a chat, about the details of making character apps.
Re: PENDING
We're still a little bit unclear on what is and isn't canon based. We'd recommend giving us the personality she shows in the episode and then following it up with the changes you are making over the year of time that's gone past since she's been aged up. Start with that core, and then tell us how she's grown over the last year. The way it is now we find more about the differences in her history rather than her personality and the personality is what is important. The history we get from the AU History and that section is fine.
The other thing is that sometimes your language gets too scientific. "Adapts to social situations" doesn't really tell us much about her. Does it mean she hides who she is in some situations to fit in? Or does it mean she's friendly and good at talking to people and making friends? We're not entirely clear on the meaning the way it is.
Anyway those are the changes we'd ask for. You still have 4 more days to respond to these requests.
Thank you
Re: PENDING
I must confess, I had missed something critically important about Joss' personality, and I never would have noticed it if you mods hadn't told me to revisit it. Hopefully it comes through with this rewrite. If not then I am willing to try again if you are.
Thank you for your patience.
ACCEPTED
Also, a new newsreel mingle log has gone up, so you can jump right into playing!
Re: ACCEPTED