Thank you for your continued interest in the game, and apologies for the delay. However, there are still some revisions we’d like to see before continuing.
-The powers section is somewhat unclear; is her mutation based on a cheetah, and thus has nonretractable claws and enhanced athletics?
-The mod team had difficulties reading the app; it seems more like a list of facts and events without spacing or a draft rather than a finished application, specifically in the history section. For an OC, a solid history is paramount, and while it contains relevant details about Cerxis’ life, they aren’t organized in a solid way. The personality section is weakened by this as well; both could be improved by simply changing up the sentence structure occasionally or condensing information. Formatting the application would help as well, particularly in distinguishing one section to the next.
It currently seems like you have an idea, but aren’t expressing it clearly. In your RP sample, you manage to convey your ideas much more clearly; we’d like to see that throughout the app.
If you’d like help with writing, feel free to ask.
PENDING
-The powers section is somewhat unclear; is her mutation based on a cheetah, and thus has nonretractable claws and enhanced athletics?
-The mod team had difficulties reading the app; it seems more like a list of facts and events without spacing or a draft rather than a finished application, specifically in the history section. For an OC, a solid history is paramount, and while it contains relevant details about Cerxis’ life, they aren’t organized in a solid way. The personality section is weakened by this as well; both could be improved by simply changing up the sentence structure occasionally or condensing information. Formatting the application would help as well, particularly in distinguishing one section to the next.
It currently seems like you have an idea, but aren’t expressing it clearly. In your RP sample, you manage to convey your ideas much more clearly; we’d like to see that throughout the app.
If you’d like help with writing, feel free to ask.