Thank you for your interest in this game, and your application.
The mod team has reviewed and discussed your app, and we're sorry to say that we can't accept it this round. There are problems that would require rewriting substantial portions of the application.
Some points that we would need to see addressed before we'd be able to consider this character: -Personality: This section meets basic paragraph requirements, but feels rather simple and flat. We need to see a more detailed, in-depth analysis here -- this is the section that lets us see how well you understand how your character thinks, feels, and acts in a variety of circumstances. It's a very important section for original characters, because this is where the mods get to see how much effort you've put into making your character well-rounded and emotionally realistic. -Powers: The format here is a little bit difficult to read and the power is too vague. The policy in this game is to allow multiple powers if they can fit under one blanket power (in this case, we'd suggest something along the lines of "enhanced physical abilities", with enhanced strength, enhanced flexibility, and superhuman climbing skills as sub-powers), so the power set in and of itself is fine, but we would need to see more information on the level and limitations of her abilities. (Is her strength enough to lift a horse? An elephant? A semi truck?) -History: This relates a bit to powers a bit, as well, and to game balance. The Sentinels in this version of continuity are incredibly difficult to defeat -- when they were first introduced in the plot, a team of veteran X-men were unable to do much of anything against them. The only thing that has been of any use against them was Jean Grey's self-sacrificing use of the Phoenix Force, in a unique incident that's been very central to the game's subsequent plot. In short, it doesn't work for our game balance to say that a single character with enhanced physical abilities could take one down alone, much less as an untrained teenager. This element of her backstory would need to be changed (perhaps substituting a different dangerous enemy for the Sentinels). The history section could also use a little more length and detail in general. -Network Sample: This section is meant to show how your character would interact with others using computers or other technology. As an example, you can look at the entries in this community. What you've written seems more like an internal monologue where the character is talking to herself. -Log Sample: This section is meant to be written in the third person, and to show the character's actions, thoughts, and feelings less through her words, and more through the narration. For example, instead of something like "I feel angry," it would be more natural in this section to write something more like, "Her eyes narrowed, as she felt her temper start to slip." Showing rather than telling is key here.
If you would like to try again next round, we recommend a complete rewrite with these things kept in mind. If you have any questions regarding our decision or the application process, we can be reached on this page.
REJECTED
The mod team has reviewed and discussed your app, and we're sorry to say that we can't accept it this round. There are problems that would require rewriting substantial portions of the application.
Some points that we would need to see addressed before we'd be able to consider this character:
-Personality: This section meets basic paragraph requirements, but feels rather simple and flat. We need to see a more detailed, in-depth analysis here -- this is the section that lets us see how well you understand how your character thinks, feels, and acts in a variety of circumstances. It's a very important section for original characters, because this is where the mods get to see how much effort you've put into making your character well-rounded and emotionally realistic.
-Powers: The format here is a little bit difficult to read and the power is too vague. The policy in this game is to allow multiple powers if they can fit under one blanket power (in this case, we'd suggest something along the lines of "enhanced physical abilities", with enhanced strength, enhanced flexibility, and superhuman climbing skills as sub-powers), so the power set in and of itself is fine, but we would need to see more information on the level and limitations of her abilities. (Is her strength enough to lift a horse? An elephant? A semi truck?)
-History: This relates a bit to powers a bit, as well, and to game balance.
The Sentinels in this version of continuity are incredibly difficult to defeat -- when they were first introduced in the plot, a team of veteran X-men were unable to do much of anything against them. The only thing that has been of any use against them was Jean Grey's self-sacrificing use of the Phoenix Force, in a unique incident that's been very central to the game's subsequent plot. In short, it doesn't work for our game balance to say that a single character with enhanced physical abilities could take one down alone, much less as an untrained teenager. This element of her backstory would need to be changed (perhaps substituting a different dangerous enemy for the Sentinels). The history section could also use a little more length and detail in general.
-Network Sample: This section is meant to show how your character would interact with others using computers or other technology. As an example, you can look at the entries in this community. What you've written seems more like an internal monologue where the character is talking to herself.
-Log Sample: This section is meant to be written in the third person, and to show the character's actions, thoughts, and feelings less through her words, and more through the narration. For example, instead of something like "I feel angry," it would be more natural in this section to write something more like, "Her eyes narrowed, as she felt her temper start to slip." Showing rather than telling is key here.
If you would like to try again next round, we recommend a complete rewrite with these things kept in mind. If you have any questions regarding our decision or the application process, we can be reached on this page.