astonishing_xmods: (Default)
The Xavier Institute Mod Journal ([personal profile] astonishing_xmods) wrote 2014-09-05 05:25 am (UTC)

REJECTED

First of all, allow me to preface this by saying that I understand you are new to DWRP. I will recommend first and foremost that you spend a bit more time acclimatizing yourself to the setting and culture of the site before considering another attempt at apping when apps open next cycle. I feel it would go a long way in helping. But first, I will tell you why this is being rejected in hopefully a constructive way.

Firstly, the canon reference needs to be a link to information on the character and setting, not just to prove that it is a canon that exists. The provided link doesn't actually offer any insight, as far as we can tell, into who the character is to be checked against in the app.

Secondly, the appearance and powers loft right up into Gary Stu territory. Now I know that's not really a helpful term on its own, so I will explain! Namely, the color changing eyes, the powers that would block out an Omega level telepath (There are maybe two characters that have done this in canon, and only one did so without the aid of a special material), but also the physical aspects of the powers just don't seem to really have any connectivity to them, which is a big part of our rules on powers. It's not exactly a laundry list of powers, but it's still too much for us to consider acceptable.

Thirdly, the history section is immense. We don't really put a hard limit on minimum length, but the extent to which this is written is far more than the mods have the patience to comb through. It would need to be re-written and heavily summarized. And with the powers mentioned as being a no already, parts of it would likely need to be altered as well.

And finally, the samples do not seem to properly demonstrate what we mean by character voice. We recommend looking at some of the other accepted apps in order to get a better idea of what is expected there.

You will have a chance to re-app this character with the proposed notes in mind next app cycle, which begins in October.

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